Reds-Realm Members Get Over 200 Stories by
Plus Several Complete Novels!
Posted: May 4, 2008
Ko Vadis, Savior of Gor entered the tavern. The twin swords strapped to his back gleamed in the moonlight. Why someone who took pride on his ability to hide should want to gleam is a question for another story.
Collect the whole set.
The tavern was filled with serving wenches. Every warrior had at least two at his beck and call (one at his beck, the other at his call).
There were too many wenches. Wenches were even trying to serve wenches. Furs were piled three deep and slaves cast their eyes down, only to see someone else looking up.
Something had to be done, and Ko Vadis, Savior of Gor, (Being a warrior prince was too tame), was just the man to do it!
But first, he must have a place to sit, a proper place, a MANLY place. (No doilies.)
But where was he to sit? Every chair was occupied, every stool sat upon, even the tables were well heinied.
Without a place to sit, how was he to stroke a slaves hair and show his kindness? Without a stool, how was he to pull a winsome lass into his lap or across his knee? And without so much as a table to lean against, how was he to show off his new boots?
Besides, his feet hurt.
“A toast!” He cried.
“A toast!” Most men answered.
“To Gor!” Ko Vadis, Savior of Gor and Cutter of Lawns cried.
“To Gor!” The men in the room roared, springing to their feet. After much laughter, all sat again.
Four men crashed to the floor, amidst more laughter. (Oh Gor is a happy place.)
Ko Vadis, Savior of Gor and collector of bottle caps, sat, as did three others who somehow had found stools.
A serving wench approached, silks swirling about her lithe form, eyes downcast. (How did she avoid running into things?) She knelt before Ko Vadis.
“A girl wishes to serve.”
Ko Vadis, Savior of Gor and Frier of Potatoes was confused.
She looked up, “Marlo Thomas is here?”
From a far corner of the room was faintly heard, “Oh Donald” And an answering cry from a further corner, “Oh Rob!”
The happy sound of two ball gags being applied was quickly heard.
(Don’t ask me to explain how it sounded, I just write this crap, I don’t understand it.)
One mighty warrior strode manfully up to a serving wench, “I have come for you girl.”
She looked deeply into his azure gaze, waiting.
“Over in the corner, get a mop would ya?”
Ko Vadis, Savior and Tour Guide of Gor, realized that he had strolled into one of the most dangerous of places.
A pick up bar.
Ko Vadis, Savior of Gor, group rates available, was glad he had washed that day.
Had he known, he would have used soap!
The serving wench looked up at him. “Anyone from the Brady Bunch here, Sir?”
He looked down at her, not unkindly. “You are too silly, even for this story. Scoot!”
She scooted, and a less funny wench replaced her.
“Ah am sorrea that aye dinnea see ya entar kind sorrah.” She said. “Did you say something?”
“Aye, ah asked ye pardon for aye nae wish ta hurt ye’s feelin’s”
“I don’t understand.”
“Away wit ye, ye bosh flivver. Aye dinnea need ye’s flappin needful aich me dunough.”
She stood and strode away yelling dumurely, “Aye nae need ta comb herein ta be insulted.”
Ko Vadis, confused person, looked at her perky ass as she left. “ I wonder if she was trying to sell me something.”
“To Gor!” Someone yelled.
“To Gor!” Ko Vadis stood and cried.
And then fell on his butt.
“Its just as well,” he sighed.
Some of you may have noticed this piece had no plot or character development.
Reminds you of Gor, doesn’t it?
The Princess of the Red Temple The Room of TERROR Traffic School of Gor
More Fiction in the Fiction Archives