Pieces of the puzzle

'Tis a puzzlement!
Yes, bondage is a puzzlement!

This page and the pages to follow are my guide for bondage. They are about the scariest part of bondage... Getting started! This is for the new people and the people who have been into bondage awhile.

This is about bondage.

May i help? On the left are my new bondage guide icons. they will begin showing up on my new pages to signify that it is a new page AND to guide people here, to this new and long overdue feature. A feature that may help me to give back to bondage for all of the joy and great times that i have recieved and shared...

Where to begin? There is so much to tell! To do bondage right there is so much you need to know, and the tricky part is that you already have this information locked up inside of you! Somehow, bondage is 100% natural. Don't ask me how that can be, just look at the facts...

  • On any evening while watching tv you can expect to see at least one tie-up situation
  • How many times have you seen a set of handcuffs hanging from the rear view mirror of a car? How many people who are into bondage are willing to do that? How many people who do bondage use handcuffs? Most prefer rope. Handcuff users are in the minority!
  • 90% of Americans have bondage fantasies
  • 50% of Americans try bondage
  • 25% of americans do bondage on an ongoing basis
  • 10% of Americans do bondage all their adult life
  • 2% of Americans live a bondage lifestyle

    Keep in mind that most people will not tell you that they have even thought of bondage or tried it. That should punch up some additional numbers!

May i help? To those of us into bondage (i have wanted to be tied up since an early early age, bondage frequently shows up before puberty) the first question we have is, "Why does this excite me?" and is followed by, "Why me?"

"Why does this excite me?"
Giggle. i have heard a thousand reasons why. i have made up a thousand reasons on my own! Here are some:

  • "The part of the brain that controls our sexual appitite is next to the part that craves excitement and violence."
    This one is nice. It's non-threatening. To believe it all i have to do is accept that my brain is slightly damaged or abnormal.
  • "It's like the 'Morbid curiosity' we all feel when we see an accident on the road."
    Oh, you mean i like the idea of being roadkill! i don't think so.
  • "It's a latent image or a memory handed down by some ansestor in our family tree."
    Kinda sounds like, "In my previous life i was a slave!" Naw! i believe that memories are passed down to our progeny, but in a very weak way. In order to feel like i was a slave using this explanation i would need to be decended from hundreds of slaves. In other words, since the time of cavemen and cavewomen.
  • "It's a primal memory."
    Ok, let's look at this caveman and cavewoman thing. i can see where women being the weaker of the genders would be like a captive of a caveman and this would run along the same lines as a marrage. In a loose way it makes some sense. So if this is true, why don't all women feel as i do? Maybe they do! It took a long time fore me to admit to my desire to be tied up.
  • "It's brought on by some kind of abuse we suffered as a child."
    This is the one a shrink would love. Kinda goes hand in hand with "You hated your mother." Gimme a break will you? We all suffer abuse as a child, it's called adolesence! Shrinks like this one because it comes like a sweater - one size fits all!
  • "It comes on as a self worth issue. Some of us feel like we aren't worth anything, so we want to be a slave so we can be abused or a Master so we can abuse others to gain a false sense of importance or reclamation."
    When i first started you could have made me believe this one. Not any more! i consider myself to be a slave and as such i am precious beyond belief - to my Master. The concept that slaves are like dirt is bogus! Once a Master finds HIS slave he can not live without her. That's just like when a slave finds HER Master she can no longer live without him. If love is a bad thing then give me the worst!
  • "Some people need power. They claim to be a Master so they can have control. Others want to give up, not be in control, and be a slave."
    Un huh.... sure. Power play is a part of bondage, but it's a give type thing. A guy could take power from me, but he'd only get one chance! The beauty of giving is to have someone who wants it. The beauty of getting is having someone willing to give.
  • "Some people like to abuse and some like to be abused."
    So what does that have to do with bondage? Bondage is not about abuse, bondage is about sharing.
May i help? The first question we have is, "Why does this excite me?" and is followed by, "Why me?"

"Why me?"
You may have noticed i didn't give an answer, my answer, about "Why does this excite me?" and i did that for a reason. The answer to "Why me?" fits both questions.

Are you ready for this? This is the answer to the questions that haunt us so bad at the begining of bondage. The Answer:

Who cares?

Kinda simplistic, but read on.

All i know is that it feels good (real good) and that it's a part of me! i am going to treat this as a positive thing. Sure there's bad parts and i am NOT going to go there. i am going to take the loving, the sharing, and the good while i leave behind the bad! i will not allow myself to lose my own self worth! i will not be abused! i will be a happy slave, a good slave, and i will be loved and treated with respect!

Do this in your everyday life and you are doing good, excellent. Do this as a slave and you are still only excellent, but it's a lot more fun!

i thank God that he made me a slave!

May i help?

i know that i am doing the right thing now!
This is pouring out of me so hard that i hope i can remember it all so i can get it all down for you to read!

More beginings...
Something that may trouble you is the thought that once you try bondage it will be a part of you forever. Wanna get a little more scared? It is a part of me, forever!

Calm down, relax. That was just to shock you, giggle.

Actually, i supose that i am among the 2% who do bondage for life. i think the true number is closer to 10% (by personal observation), but the majority of people only have bondage experiences for a short period. That's cool. Bondage isn't nessisarily a life style. It's done in as many different ways as there are people doing it.

Once you try bondage doesn't mean you are going to get hooked on it. Think of it as a new position for sex. You've done the misionary position all your life and now you are introduced to the spoon position. It's just something you add to your knowledge. You can go back to the missionary position any time that you want. Hopefully you will use both positions.

Do not obsess with bondage. Obsessing with anything is bad. Bondage is variety. You don't eat steak all the time. Pork chops are good too, so is spaghetti. i am NOT saying that if you try bondage you should toss aside every other taboo too! Trying bondage doesn't mean you should try other taboo sex. Hopefully the act of trying bondage WILL open your eyes to other new things though, like oral sex or something else that you've been afraid to try.


Safe, Sane, and Consensual

May i help? A SHORT NOTE ABOUT "i"

No, that's not a typo. i didn't mean to say "me". What i want to point out is that i refer to myself with a small letter "i". When i type my name i spell it shevette with a small "s". That's done on purpose. i do have an education. i use lower case because i am a slave. Calm down i tell you! Sheesh! Just because i have adopted bondage, just because i am a slave doesn't mean you have to as well. Most don't. Keep in mind that most people only 'visit' with bondage. i am a rarety. That is why i am writting this. A causual visitor to bondage would not feel inspired to do all of this. This is just to let you in on some of the details about bondage from someone who does it a little bit more than the average Jane. (Call me a "bondage pro" and i'll smack yer chops!)

Think of bondage as "play". You've heard of foreplay so how about Adult Play? Play as in games. Of course bondage is a lot more fun than Checkers!

You don't have to be a slave or a Master to "play" bondage. It's fine to treat it a a game. You don't have to play a role and pretend to be the princess locked up in the tower (that's fun too though.)

For starting out maybe the best thing is to be yourself. It's ok if you don't know all the rules or even you change some of them to suit you and your partner. You can even play alone (sometimes.)

Bondage is a fun thing!

May i help? Bondage is sometimes called D/s
  • Dominance/submission.
    Briefly giving one person more power or control than another person.
    • Role-Playing: Acting out characters during sex.
    • Tickling: Stimulating the body.
    • Shaving: Shaving body areas.
    • Display: Exhibition, voyeurism, dancing, performing.
    • Wrestling: Struggling with each other.
    • Resistance Play: One partner agrees to resist while the other seduces.
    • Master & slave (or Mistress & slave): One partner serves the other.
    • Spanking: Of the rear end.
    • Whipping: Acted out with specially-made soft whips, which won't hurt or injure.
    • Dominance: Acted out with a collar and leash, ordering, servicing, kneeling, punishment, pleasuring, activities or dialogue.
  • BDSM
    This is the old handle people used to put on us before bondage was as well understood as it is now. Notice that it is a catch-all one-size-fits-none kind of a deal.

    Masochism may be a part of my make up, but i don't really think i'm masochistic. i don't want to be hurt at all. It really gripes me that things are lumped together the way that they are. Bondage has a bad past. i think that's because it was so misunderstood. The concept that someone would only want to be tied up so they could be abused just seemed natural and nothing is further from the truth!

    In my own experience i started off wrong wrong wrong! That's why i harp on this so regular, so others can get straight to the good stuff and not have to deal with the self-doubt that comes from trying something that society seems to put down.

May i help? Why does society seem to put down bondage?

Notice the word "seem". Look at it. If 90% of the population has bondage fantasies then why would society want to put it down?

Consider this; how often do you hear society talking about oral sex? How often do you hear society talking about any sex act? Society is out in the open. Sex is usually behind closed doors. Bondage is behind locked closed doors!

It's not that bondage is bad, it is that we don't discuss sex in front of the whole nation. There are the kids to be concerned with, the teens who are all too willing to try sex and experiment with it before they are ready to accept the reasponsabilities that go along with it, the bible thumpers that think they are all products of Imaculate Conception, and the elderly who just don't want to hear about it any more that make openess about sex in public a taboo. And that's halfway cool.

The problem is it sometimes make sex seem dirty somehow. And if sex is dirty then bondage MUST be filthy! i shouldn't have to even hit on this and i feel like i've harped on it too long already so let me just reiterate that bondage is not dirty and we can go on...

May i help? Mmmmm... that feels good!

How good does it feel to stretch?

Pretty good! How good does it feel after being tied up for awhile? Even better! How good does it feel to be tied up and stretch against what ever has you tied up? You have got to feel it to believe it!

And stretching is not even the best part! Have you ever wondered how to get him turned on when you are ready? Try putting on a set of handcuffs in front of him!

Have you ever wanted to stretch what you can do? Let him tie you up and tease you to your limit and then stop! Yeah, the old interuptus routine! When he starts again you get fired right back up. Sometimes it's too hard to decide if it would be better if he stopped again and then go some more. Hey! Guess what! YOU don't have to make that decision any more! Do you think he's going to like making it for you? Absolutely! He can drive you up the wall for hours! When's the last time you make love for hours? Hours and hours? Trembling at his every touch? This is so good that just thinking about it makes me think i'd better have a cigarette before i continue....

  • Bondage is clean, natural, and fun.
  • It has it's rules, but you can add to it anyway that you want.
  • It's Safe Sane and consensual.
  • You won't get hurt and it won't mess with your mind.
  • That bondage can prolong the plateau before climax almost indefinately.
  • Almost everyone thinks about it and half the people you know either have done it or will do it!

If i could bottle it and sell it i'd be a rich slave!

May i help? Click here for next in this series! May i help?

Bondage 'tis a puzzlement!
i know!

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